Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new
program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely
limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In
addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as
DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4
and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably
crashes the system.

Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose
utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!

Sincerely,

XXX

Dear XXX:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to
run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0
and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate
Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or
purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program
files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely
limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to
get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0,
or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than
encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly,
and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3.

I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange
and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also
suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults
[GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the
parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must
assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root
cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C: I THOUGHT YOU
LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the
command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and
Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP!

Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more
serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C: I APOLOGIZE command
before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause
Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer
6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files
and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some
trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember! The system will run
smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature
it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot
accept new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to
improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and
Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep
Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will
become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as
FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw
1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown
of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting
5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped.
Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support
wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully
enjoy this product!