Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping.
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other
ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent
hockey puck.

You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food,
then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by
shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic
waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes
excellent kindling.

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.
The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for
the eagle.

It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding
mountain road behind a large motor home.

Effective January 1, 2001, you will actually have to enlist in
the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.

In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to
strangle a snoring tent mate.