Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday.

Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

Al Capp, creator of the famous comic strip Lil Abner, was one day
invited to a university to give a lecture to the students. Before
he could begin speaking to the large group assembled in the auditorium,
an unkempt-looking student at the back shouted a vulgar word at him.
The word hung in the air as an uncomfortable silence lasted but a
moment... Capp, keeping his cool, quipped, "Now that you've given us
your name, what IS your question?"

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" "Because it's been laying outside
and is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly," everyone knows this stuff. Um, it's on

the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a
Mommy.
"Oh."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently