Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were.

My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.

My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt.

On one side it said, "Families are Forever."

And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's
office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman,
curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?"
I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to
embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school.
So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, 'I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!'

The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat.

Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, 'I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!'

The following apparently comes from a Catholic
elementary school.It could happen...

Kids were asked questions
about the Old and New Testaments. The following
statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e.,
incorrect spelling has been left in.)....

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got
tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark,
which animals come on to in pears.

On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving
gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She
shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what
it is - flowers!"

"That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?"

"Just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher
held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess
what it is - a box of candy!"

"That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Just a lucky guess," said the teacher.

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's
office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman,
curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?"
I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to
embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school.
So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes.
When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody
was sitting absolutely quiet.

She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like
it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all
of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?"

Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said, "Well,
one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet,
you would drop dead."

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school
if a student is to be absent for the day. Kelly (name changed to protect
the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends
waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.
This is the actual conversation of the telephone call.

Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly so-in-so is unable to make
it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her
absence. Who is this calling?"