A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.

The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.

The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll

A unpolished looking gentleman walks into a fancy French
restaurant. The maitre d, wanting to get rid of a potential trou-
blemaker says, "Sir, you can't come in here without a tie." The
guy argues, but the maitre d is firm.

So the guy goes out to his car, can't find a tie, but locates a pair
of jumper cables in the trunk. He wraps them around his neck
and walks back into the restaurant.

The maitre d looks at him and reluctantly says, "OK, you can
come in, but don't start anything."