A minister was feeling bored one Sunday and decided to take the day off from church. He told the assistant minister he wasn't feeling well and drove off. He stopped at a golf course about forty miles away (so that no one would know him.)

Up in Heaven, the angels were talking. One said to Jesus, "Are you going to let him get away with that?" Jesus said, "No, I won't." The minister teed off on the first hole and suddenly, the wind picked up, blowing the ball right in the hole for a 420 yard hole-in-one.

Nine year old Isaac is asked by his mother what he has learned in Hebrew school.
"Well mum," says Isaac, "our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and everyone walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent men to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Really Isaac," says his mother, "is that really what your teacher taught you?"

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and din't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee lit'le ones yet?

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.'

They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.

Hello,' said the little boy

'Hi,' replied the little girl.

'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.

'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home,' answered the little girl. 'I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.

'I go to the Lutheran church back down the road,' replied the little girl. 'What about you? '

What Religion Is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.

What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?

Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:

Pastor Abdul was teaching his Sunday school class.
He asked the class, "If I sold my house and my car,
had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the
church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard,
and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me
into Heaven?" The Pastor continued.

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy
to all the children, and loved my wife, would that
get me into Heaven?" Pastor Abdul again asked.

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man
he meets, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to Heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go
to Heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab
driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring
and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't wan't
to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're
as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a
chance to see and hear just about everything, I'm sure that there's
nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of
sudden death. "We will all die some day," the leader of the
discussion said, "and none of us really knows when, but if we did
we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that
inevitable event." Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with
this comment.

"What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life
remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?" the
leader asked the group.

"For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister

Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At
the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said,
"Hello, Father."

The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no Father you
dummy, said the second youth, "He's married and got three
kids!"