Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.

1 Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2 Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3 Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.

With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes
up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll hang out
with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the
frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll be your
girlfriend for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his
pocket.

A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll be your
girlfriend for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.