A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ each -- three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
"Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out.
She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts,
two bums show up looking for a handout.
Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if
they will chop some wood out back.
Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.
Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time.
But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that
he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all.

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it.
Then, when I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on
top of it. Doc, you've gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the
psychiatrist. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll
cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"My fee is per visit."

"That's awfully expensive, Doc," reckoned Shakey. "Let
me sleep on it, and I'll get back to you."