A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."

The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."

"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."

"You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate."

"Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.

Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla?'"

The man spells, "V A N."

A man who was noted for his tact was awakened one morning at four o'clock by his ringing telephone.

"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an irate voice. The man thanked the caller and politely asked his name before hanging up.

The next morning at four o'clock, he called back his neighbor... "Sir," he said, "I don't have a dog."