YOU ARE PARKED IN A SPACE CLEARLY DESIGNATED FOR DISABLED PERSONS PLEASE CIRCLE THE STATEMENT WHICH BEST DESCRIBES YOUR HANDICAP:

I don't read good.

I suffer from terminal laziness.

I have Attention Deficit Disorder. Huh?

My inner child was bugging me for ice cream.

My shoes are too expensive to walk in.

Wheelchair symbol? I thought it was a rocking chair!

My religion forbids acts of common courtesy.

I ignore OTHER laws, why not this one?

I AM disabled... by a painfully swollen ego.

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying
emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. "I don't know about you, lady," he said incredulously. "But I usually
just put my car in park."

I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for
about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle
cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said,
'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored
me and continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a pencil necked moron. He glared at me and
started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So
I called him a son of a mutant pig. He finished the second
ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started