One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's
office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman,
curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?"
I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to
embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school.
So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

My mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's
office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman,
curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?"
I asked her.

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to
embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school.
So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

When my son Jared began spending lots of time in the Internet chat
rooms, I worried that his grades would suffer. I made him promise to
do schoolwork until I returned home at 5p.m. One day at 4:30 I decided
to check up on him. Using my office computer, I went on-line and entered
his favorite chat room. To my dismay I saw Jared's name among the list
of current participants and immediately decided to teach him a lesson
in front of his cyber friends. "Jared," I typed, "this is your mother,
and you are grounded for two weeks!" "Hi, Mrs. Beyeler," came a reply.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued
employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one
day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of
the main computers resolved, he dialed the
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a
child's whisper.

" Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

" Yes ," whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, " No ."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the
boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

" Yes "

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, " No "

You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if.....

You have thrown out the better part of the last several one-gallon
jugs of milk, but still can't bring yourself to buy the one-quart
cartons.

You called the power company and asked them to check your meter,
because the hot-water bill has been way too low.

You suddenly realize that you no longer need to include video late
fees as part of the monthly budget.

You are shocked when you notice you can push the buttons on the car
radio and KNOW what station you will get.