At the start of an important trial, a small town attorney called his first witness to the stand. She seemed like a sweet, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. You've become a huge disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a hot shot lawyer, when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to
keep her company........ So off to the pet shop she went......

She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest,
except this ugly frog...... As she walked by the jar he was in,
she looked and he winked at her......

He whispered , "IM LONELY TOO, BUY ME AND YOU WONT BE SORRY."

The old lady figured....WHAT THE HECK, she hadn't found anything
else.

She bought the frog and put him in the car........

Driving down the road the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater,
"Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"

Several men stood up as the lights came on.

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her,
"Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in
a date with a good girl?"