Lesson Number One:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit noticed the crow, and asked, "Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered, "Sure, why not."

So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested.

All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit, and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two:

There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter.

He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter; I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"

So he stayed. Winter came and was very cold; the nonconformist bird had never felt such cold weather and was afraid that he might freeze to death.

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt
Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to
bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of
whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.

The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as
well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is
old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully
tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest
drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and
the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first
sip of alcohol.