A couple, both 67, went to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it.

When the couple finished, the doctor reexamined them and, upon completion, advised the couple, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He then charged them $32.

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home.

As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" Said the officer.

"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.

"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" The cop asked.

"My wife." Said the man.

One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come.

Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back in.

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and din't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee lit'le ones yet?

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.'

They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.

One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father
stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes,
I'd love to!"

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of
the evening that Dad finally confessed that his question had
actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom's
feet on the kitchen floor.

As a new bride, Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch.
She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never
to touch it.

For fifty years Jack left the box alone, until Edna was old and dying.
One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box
again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box
to Edna and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the
day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help

An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young
woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.

"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a
friend.

"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her
you're 90."

A middle-aged woman convinced her husband to attend a couples
retreat. At the first session, the facilitator said, "The fact
is, no matter how long we've been married, there are many things
we don't know about each other. For example, how many of you
husbands can name your wife's favorite flower?"

The husband smiled knowingly, put his hand on his wife's knee,
and said, "It's Pillsbury All-Purpose, right?"

A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some
arsenic.

"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"

"To kill my husband."

"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"

The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising
position. The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's
wife. He takes the photo and slowly nods.

"I didn't realize you had a prescription."

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when
the subject of marriage counseling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,"
the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I
majored in theater arts.

He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."