A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.

On his way home he pops into the newsagent and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the newsagent "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35" was the reply.

"I'm actually 47 years old" the man says, feeling really happy.

After that he goes into the Fish & Chip shop to celebrate. Before leaving, he asks the same question, to which the reply is "Oh, you look about 29" This makes him feel really good.

A minister was feeling bored one Sunday and decided to take the day off from church. He told the assistant minister he wasn't feeling well and drove off. He stopped at a golf course about forty miles away (so that no one would know him.)

Up in Heaven, the angels were talking. One said to Jesus, "Are you going to let him get away with that?" Jesus said, "No, I won't." The minister teed off on the first hole and suddenly, the wind picked up, blowing the ball right in the hole for a 420 yard hole-in-one.

1. You dream in Javascript and Hypertext language.
2.Instead of laughing out loud when u find something funny in the real world u just say LOL.
3.You say you can do a 360 Fingerflip to Amateur Skaters but you don't say, in Tony Hawks Pro Skater 4.
4.You get wet dreams after you bought a computer with a GeForce MX motherboard.
5.You waste time on the internet looking for meaningless jokes like this one.

From the State where drink driving is considered a sport,comes a true
story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. Recently a routine police
patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the
evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that
he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few
minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an
eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to
find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as