One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of breath little Johnny who shouts out, “Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is fucking the cow!” Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young little Johnny aside and explains that a certain decorum is required. “You should have said, ‘The bull is surprising the cow’- not some filth you picked up in the City,” he says. A few days later, little Johnny comes again as his uncle and aunt are entertaining. “Uncle John!

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents
for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into
taking him.

"So how was it?" his mother asked ashen they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, Daddy liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly,
"especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1 !"

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade
class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up
on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the
boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for
three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten
to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.