My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a
display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over
the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny,
one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it to
my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a
few notes on it.

After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered
in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying
to play a cheese slicer."