Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday.

Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

A guy goes into a classy bar. This bar has a dress code, and
the maitre d' demands he wear a tie. Discouraged, the guy
goes to his car to sulk when inspiration strikes: He's got
jumper cables in the trunk! So he wraps them around his
neck, sort of like a string tie and returns to the bar.

... The maitre d' is reluctant, but says to the guy; "Okay,
you can come in... but just don't start anything"!...