There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

The doctor, who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most
of her life, finally retired.

At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list
of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew
wide as he realized she has a prescription for birth control pills.

"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?"

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these
that could possibly help you sleep!"

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would
tell me. Even though she was always correct, it was fun for me, so
I continued asking her.

At last she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you
should try to figure out some of these yourself!"