There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.

Hello,' said the little boy

'Hi,' replied the little girl.

'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.

'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home,' answered the little girl. 'I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.

'I go to the Lutheran church back down the road,' replied the little girl. 'What about you? '

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall,
holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl
looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee
kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he
blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the
loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee

A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in
an exclusive lounge. He took her to his lavish
apartment where he soon discovered she was
not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently
very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he began
showing her his collection of expensive paintings,
first editions by famous authors and offered her
a glass of wine.

He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry
and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means. To me,
it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a
crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down
at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"
"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?"
"Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you
please tie my shoe?"