Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle.

One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and put a thumbtack in it.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his
crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew
became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my
red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt,
which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate
boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the
pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate
vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the