A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.

He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free.

The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today."

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."

The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"

The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."

The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"

The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was
crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and
explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would
have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from
now."

This fella had owned this large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back yard, had it fixed up nice, with picnic
tables, horse shoe courts, a basketball court, etc.

The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old
farmer decided to go down to the pond as he hadn't been there for a
while and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting
and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in
his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin also has a farmer in it. To pass the time the scientist decides to play a game with the farmer.

"I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question first."

The farmer thinks for a while. "I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down?"

The scientist is confused and thinks long and hard about the question.

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a very rural area.
Luckily, Farmer Jones came to help with his big strong horse named
Hobo . . .

He hitched ole Hobo up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!"
Hobo didn't move a muscle... just flicked away a fly with his tail.
Then Jones hollered out, "C'mon, pull, Davey, pull!" Again, ole Hobo
didn't move. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Stetson, pull!"
Nothing from Hobo. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Hobo.
C'mon, boy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car up, out of
the ditch.