There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat.

As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He's scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"

A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the
country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they
were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They
were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck
approached.
Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer
his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver
of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank but
he didn't have a bucket or can.
One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if