Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."

"What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want another opinion."

The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and barked once (meaning "dead and gone").

A feisty 70-year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After
a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed
her a $70 bill for labor.

"Labor charges!" she exclaimed. "It only took you five minutes."

The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour
charge on every house call.

"Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady responded,
and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes
in her yard bagging leaves.