This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out.
She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts,
two bums show up looking for a handout.
Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if
they will chop some wood out back.
Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.
Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time.
But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that
he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all.

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard
times, approaches a well-dressed gentleman on the street.
"Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?"

The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going
to spend it on liquor are you?"

"No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum. "You are not
going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?" asks
the gentleman.

"No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum. "You wouldn't
waste the money at a golf course for greens fees, would
you?" asks the man.