A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant
three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!"
says the admin clerk."I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough...

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy...

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human...

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your
authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative...

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm...

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his
boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,
YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!
WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and
told him to come into his office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked
the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a
mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone
by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a
breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last
name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... that's all. I am to be
referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that

Never give me work in the morning.
Always wait until 4:00 and then bringit to me.
The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me
every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going.
That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

Always leave without telling anyone where you're going.
It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies,
don't open the door for me.
I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic